Wednesday, April 28, 2010
12:15pm. Strawberry seeds are filling the cracks in my teeth as I bite through each one’s perfect ripeness. I threw down two pieces of BBQ chicken pizza leftover from Axel’s Bonfire. Delicious. Add some crunchy grapes from Cub (woot woot budgets!) and my Wednesday desk lunch is complete.
Besides gastronomy, other things are on my mind. All the craziness that I’ve gone through this past few months is busting wide open, bringing me to the end point of preparing and the beginning point of waiting for other things.
Within the next week I will have done a lot of list crossing off. However, the things on the list either propel me into new careers or change my direction completely.
Here’s the rundown:
Saturday: I ran my first of many races to come, I expect. The 5k went swimmingly after I checked the official time Tuesday morning. The goal was 3.1 miles completed in under 35 minutes. Official time: 34:40. Who’s the rock star? I don’t know…I wasn’t talking about me. Life goal: Run a race. Check. Not done yet. More to come.
Sunday: I did billing for my parent’s business. I have become a manager. Ah, I can add that to my Proverbs 31 woman resume. The business-woman in me has finally become a reality. (In addition to bills, I did an incredible amount of laundry. Another redeeming quality, and my whites are brighter. Fab.)
Monday: Lead an amazing Bible study. I asked the girls this question, “When you look in the mirror, who do you see?” We discussed scripture about how God made us exactly as he wanted us to be (Gen. 1:26-27). There’s no substitution for his creation. Either you look at yourself and say, “Wow, I’ve been made amazingly.” Or you selfishly focus on your exterior, unable to be used for God’s kingdom festering in insecurity and self-doubt.
Then, I threw out this question, posed by Francis Chan. I’ve been mulling it over for the past week. “What do you want right now?” Think about this for a second.
His answer to this question is intense, “If it’s not, ‘I just want more of Jesus,’ then we’re totally missing it.” I get this. I see this as true. I’m choosing to live this. If I’m not living for more time with Jesus, either now or in eternity, then what’s the point?
Challenge for the week for women: Look in the mirror and say, “I have been fearfully and wonderfully made in God’s image. I’m owning that! Now let’s work on the inside, God. I want to be used.”
Tuesday: Went to dinner with some great family friends, Shirley and Julie. They’re great support.
Instead of being pulled into the ever-popular television show Glee, which really creeps me out, I was responsible and composed my things to go to Starbucks for some much needed essay writing time. I’ve decided to go to seminary. That takes applying. Applying takes writing. Application due: Friday. What does a writer do with the special ailment of writer’s block? Go to Starbucks.
Busting in the front door with my “could-fit-a-small-child-in-it” purse, filled with papers, books and my trusted MacBook, I notice the woman by the door is listening to a Beth Moore book on CD. I order my drink and find a place in one of the four sofa-style chairs by the window. The elderly couple in the center two chairs welcome me. I think to talk to them, but feel more drawn to talk to the woman relaxing with Beth Moore. She’s definitely ended her study. My essays can wait.
Walking right up to her I ask her about the study. She says it’s phenomenal. She’s done three in the past year. We talk more about how good God is. She says God is rocking her. I ask her how. This comes out.
“My husband walked away from the Lord two years ago. I have 4 kids. We’re separated and have been for a while. I’m on my knees for him.”
This woman is amazing. She’s supporting her family on one income and taking time to search the Lord for answers. Her faith is an extreme testimony to me that God is bigger than our circumstances.
I ask her if I can pray for her. We do, right then and there at Starbucks in Golden Valley.
We exchange info.
It’s not enough to know that people are Christians. We must support and encourage, even if we have other things to do, even if we must be vulnerable. I was blessed. She was blessed. God is with us. Onward we march.
Wednesday: I don’t finish my essays Tuesday. I take them to work. I get two pieced together for Noelle Buss to edit. I’m getting no actual work done. I hate it when I’m not a steward of this job. But some days are like this for everyone, right? We get work done one day and the next we do background work, or gchat? Can I get a witness?
What’s on my mind today is the lunch, yeah, but also the photos I’m dropping off for modeling at 2pm. I’ve decided I’m not nervous. I’m just waiting for this to be part of God’s plan. He opened too many doors for this not to happen. Now I must walk in it.
Modeling is not a way to promote myself. That’s the least of my desires. I’d rather clean toilets at Lifetime than be a famous person. But I do see this as an opportunity to reach women for God who are only seen as exteriors. Hangers for clothing, if you will. But at the heart of it, we all know that’s not what matters. You can be Kate Moss and still be hideous if all you care about are shoes and handbags and nothing of the soul. I want women to know that they’re more than pretty little things. They have been fearfully and wonderfully made by a God that LOVES them.
So seminary essays, photos to drop off, and oh yeah, following God’s plan. That’s what’s on my mind.
He made everything. He’s in everything. He is everything.
Here I go.