Saturday, June 26, 2010
If you’re a consistent reader, you’ve probably noticed that I haven’t blogged in a few weeks. I’m not sure why. I have plenty to talk about. Plenty I’m learning. But some of the issues I’m most passionately thinking about daily seem too personal. Me thinking something is too personal to share? Me, who is vulnerable to the point of tears sometimes while she writes this? Yes, I want to make sure that everyone I know has confidence in me that I wont write something to telling of their soul. After all, it’s not mine to share. It is theirs.
So I’ll stick to what I’ve been thinking about for the past two weeks.
“You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you.”
I’ve experienced so much peace lately. However, the past few nights I’ve been awakened at 2:45 a.m., and all I hear to do is pray. I pray over the next day’s events, over my heart, over the people I will see, over the will that God has for me and others. And I send up prayers for healing, prayers for the fullness of real, authentic love for my friends. I weep as I say them because I know my God, who is rich in mercy and abounding in love, my God who tell the stars to shine and sends lightening form his throne, my God who makes the blind to see and sets us, as captives, free, he is listening to me. He is hearing me as I ask him to do everything because I can do nothing. He remembers me in my low estate, Psalm 136:23, and still loves me forever.
I’m weeping even now as I write this because I want you to know this. This God that I love, he can be your God, too. He is your God. He loves you and wants to hear your prayers. He wants to love you uncontrollably. He’s doing everything he can to chase you, pursue you, find you. And you do so much to hide from him. Oh, that you would take away your barriers and let the God of all love pour over you his goodness and love.
Everything I read these days is knowledge. I tend to pray through it. Every time I pray, it becomes experience. I don’t want any more head knowledge. I just want to access more and more of God’s love through prayer.
Toady, I’m taking that time. I’ve holed myself up in my room, not to see anyone, which is probably better for them. My tearstained cheeks and red eyes aren’t a sight to see. However, the heart behind it is. I only want that God hears my prayers and so amazingly answers them that no one can say anything except, “The Lord—He is God!”
Now prayer isn’t something too many people get excited about. I find in the church, anything related to food and fellowship receives great attendance. Prayer meetings are for the mystical, hyper-spiritual or super charismatic. But fellowship isn’t powerful. What does it say in James? “The prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.” (5:16b) I’m not saying to stop going to fellowship opportunities. But tell me, what makes your peace increase? Is it talking with a stranger, or talking with an almighty God that says, “Cast your cares upon me and I will give you rest”? I like good barbeque, but I just want more than food that does not satisfy. I just want to be with the Lord, corporately. I want others to fan into flame a passion to talk with God together. I want people to be excited about what our God can do. I want to see that passion and hunger increase, not for myself, but because prayer is effective. Prayer is amazing. And if we are willing to wait on an almighty God for answers, just imagine what is possible. We who can do nothing can have everything change through our God.
For the next two weeks, I’m going to take prayer very seriously. For two dedicated hours each day, I will be going to my God, my king and petitioning him for help, praising him for who he is, and asking for direction, clarity and peace.
“Never weary in prayer. When one day man sees how marvelously his prayer has been answered, then he will deeply, so deeply, regret he prayed so little.” God Calling, May 16
Be blessed as you are in the presence of our Lord through prayer in Jesus’s name.